the end's right here

hey dolls
the end is something i thought would never see.something that wouldnt come so soon.never thought you'd be the starting of the end.its complicated i guess.there's no explanation..or mayb there is.i feel like hearing it,hearing it over n over again in my head.repeating everything u hafta say.prolonging evey word.i dont really know how my brain works really..its jus quite weird.im jus quite weird.fullstop.hahahs

guess its not funny.cus the whole situation is really not funny.i dont know why i try to laugh.its hard to act happy.i jus realised.and ive decided,that i'll master it.

well.enough of that.hols have been quite good.watched mr. and mrs. smith with ling,ash and mel.went to the beach a million times..got a good tan..love it..haahsand im going again this saturday.with mabel,eeqah and i dont know who else..yeah.i kinda miss school.i miss seeing the ppl ard me everyday.well,im not quite sure if i can handle going back to school.anyways,im going to this beach party on friday.its gonna be a blast!!WHEE!!hehee.

cant wait till nationals.go see everyone run..lawrence is running again..zul and probably mabel too.

hmmm,i feel like talking abt depressing stuff again.okay,im reading this book.okay,its not relly mine.anyway,the first chapter is called "i hate myself and i want to die". how funny is that?i asked lim-singh the other day if i'd die if i jump down 12 floors..hahahs.it was funny!!!goodness.sometimes i wonder if ppl will notice if im jus gone.like if can live w/o me.smth like that.i jus wonder..im sure most of u can.well,its just a thought..

at natt's hse right now.using her apple.tats y i suddenly can blog.reading calvin n hobbes at the same time.well,i cant wait for sentosa on saturday!!!!i wanna tan so bad..and becone blacker..hahahs.NO!!correction.brozer..i wanna become bronzer.hahahs..

okie dokie..guess i'd better go.ciao.you'll be seeing me around.

"never will i see you the same way again."